Page 41 - Humanism 2018
P. 41
One of the cruelest things that can happen during a time moment that makes up that life. We begin to notice those
of crisis and change are those individuals who have an moments when we intentionally practice gratitude.
opinion about how you could have or should have
avoided the challenge. Thus, it is critical to surround Remember, it’s not over until it’s over.
yourself with people who provide loving support.
Maintaining hope in the midst of struggle is difficult but
essential if we are to continue to engage the struggle
Find an advocate/be an advocate rather than surrendering to it in defeat. Hope is choosing
During one of our first visits at a well-known teaching to believe in spite of the circumstances we find ourselves
hospital on the East Coast, we met a resident who was in. Hope keeps us going, keeps us inquisitive and gives us
doing his rotation with that particular service. Months energy for the long haul. All across our campus,
later we were referred to a second specialist and were researchers are working in the hope that they will find a
delighted to discover the same resident who was now on cure or an answer to a scientific mystery. Hope is the
rotation with that service. This happened enough times motivation that energizes them to continue the work,
that “our” resident quickly became our son’s advocate. I even when disappointments come.
will never forget his advocacy on our behalf when my
son had his first MRI. While the pediatric hospital staff After eight years of uncertainty, CT scans and MRIs,
was insistent that we not be allowed to accompany our biopsies and myriad visits to specialists, surgery was
small boy, he intervened and we were able to support our scheduled to correct my son’s strabismus. It took three
child through the very new diagnostic procedure. surgeries, but in the end, his eyes were straight, his head-
turn disappeared and he no longer had double vision.
As a young mother in awe of medical professionals, I What was once thought to be a tumor was nothing more
quickly learned that I had to become an advocate for my than scar tissue by the time of the surgeries, so a
son. While I certainly wanted an accurate diagnosis and definitive diagnosis was never made. It remains a mystery.
treatment plan, I also learned to question, challenge and
make choices that were in my son’s best interest. Most of When our journey began that cold December morning,
the time these choices were in sync with what the our greatest concern was the upcoming holidays, my
medical professionals were suggesting, but there were son’s school schedule, how he interacted socially with his
occasions when they were not. It was my job as his peers — the “normal” things parents worry about. Life
mother to consider the ramifications on all of his life, not shifted however, and our new “normal” included
just his medical condition. I became his advocate. frightening terms and potential prognoses that required
adjustment and adaptation. We longed for certainty but
learned to live with ambiguity. The lessons learned and
Practice gratitude the tools gained through the experience continue to
Anxiety and fear are constant companions when impact our lives positively. New challenges have come
challenges come, and I discovered that gratitude is a and can be expected in future years. They may not
perfect antidote to these overwhelming emotions. You involve medical mysteries, but they certainly will bring
don’t have to spend a lot of time walking the halls of a some of the same fears and anxieties that we experienced
children’s hospital to cultivate gratitude! Gratitude is when this particular journey began.
simply the practice of finding something each day for
which to be thankful. It may be as simple and wondrous My son is a father now; his youngest daughter was born
as the sunrise or the flight of a butterfly. with heterotaxy just six months ago, and spent several
days in NICU while her doctors tried to determine the
I also found that striving to be fully present in each severity of her condition. Watching my son navigate
moment, to notice the beauty of the pine tree against the those stressful days with calm determination, fierce
deep blue sky, to listen to the song of the bird or to enjoy protectiveness, an inquisitive and challenging mind, and
the giggle of a child playing — these everyday, common compassionate care underscored to me that our
things help one stay grounded in the present. Someone experience together with his medical anomaly had
told me once that when we have one foot in the past and equipped him with the same set of tools that I had
one in the future, we piss on the present. She is right. So discovered. The one certainty in life is its uncertainty and
much of our anxiety comes from rehearsing the pain or change, so learning to adapt is vital. This experience
insults of the past and anticipating the challenges of the taught us that, and I am grateful. n
future. We fail to enjoy the wonder of the present, this
moment in life; this is all we have. We can miss out so
easily on the majesty of life by ignoring the glory of each
HUMANISM IN THE HEALTH SCIENCES 2018 • VOL. 21 39
of crisis and change are those individuals who have an moments when we intentionally practice gratitude.
opinion about how you could have or should have
avoided the challenge. Thus, it is critical to surround Remember, it’s not over until it’s over.
yourself with people who provide loving support.
Maintaining hope in the midst of struggle is difficult but
essential if we are to continue to engage the struggle
Find an advocate/be an advocate rather than surrendering to it in defeat. Hope is choosing
During one of our first visits at a well-known teaching to believe in spite of the circumstances we find ourselves
hospital on the East Coast, we met a resident who was in. Hope keeps us going, keeps us inquisitive and gives us
doing his rotation with that particular service. Months energy for the long haul. All across our campus,
later we were referred to a second specialist and were researchers are working in the hope that they will find a
delighted to discover the same resident who was now on cure or an answer to a scientific mystery. Hope is the
rotation with that service. This happened enough times motivation that energizes them to continue the work,
that “our” resident quickly became our son’s advocate. I even when disappointments come.
will never forget his advocacy on our behalf when my
son had his first MRI. While the pediatric hospital staff After eight years of uncertainty, CT scans and MRIs,
was insistent that we not be allowed to accompany our biopsies and myriad visits to specialists, surgery was
small boy, he intervened and we were able to support our scheduled to correct my son’s strabismus. It took three
child through the very new diagnostic procedure. surgeries, but in the end, his eyes were straight, his head-
turn disappeared and he no longer had double vision.
As a young mother in awe of medical professionals, I What was once thought to be a tumor was nothing more
quickly learned that I had to become an advocate for my than scar tissue by the time of the surgeries, so a
son. While I certainly wanted an accurate diagnosis and definitive diagnosis was never made. It remains a mystery.
treatment plan, I also learned to question, challenge and
make choices that were in my son’s best interest. Most of When our journey began that cold December morning,
the time these choices were in sync with what the our greatest concern was the upcoming holidays, my
medical professionals were suggesting, but there were son’s school schedule, how he interacted socially with his
occasions when they were not. It was my job as his peers — the “normal” things parents worry about. Life
mother to consider the ramifications on all of his life, not shifted however, and our new “normal” included
just his medical condition. I became his advocate. frightening terms and potential prognoses that required
adjustment and adaptation. We longed for certainty but
learned to live with ambiguity. The lessons learned and
Practice gratitude the tools gained through the experience continue to
Anxiety and fear are constant companions when impact our lives positively. New challenges have come
challenges come, and I discovered that gratitude is a and can be expected in future years. They may not
perfect antidote to these overwhelming emotions. You involve medical mysteries, but they certainly will bring
don’t have to spend a lot of time walking the halls of a some of the same fears and anxieties that we experienced
children’s hospital to cultivate gratitude! Gratitude is when this particular journey began.
simply the practice of finding something each day for
which to be thankful. It may be as simple and wondrous My son is a father now; his youngest daughter was born
as the sunrise or the flight of a butterfly. with heterotaxy just six months ago, and spent several
days in NICU while her doctors tried to determine the
I also found that striving to be fully present in each severity of her condition. Watching my son navigate
moment, to notice the beauty of the pine tree against the those stressful days with calm determination, fierce
deep blue sky, to listen to the song of the bird or to enjoy protectiveness, an inquisitive and challenging mind, and
the giggle of a child playing — these everyday, common compassionate care underscored to me that our
things help one stay grounded in the present. Someone experience together with his medical anomaly had
told me once that when we have one foot in the past and equipped him with the same set of tools that I had
one in the future, we piss on the present. She is right. So discovered. The one certainty in life is its uncertainty and
much of our anxiety comes from rehearsing the pain or change, so learning to adapt is vital. This experience
insults of the past and anticipating the challenges of the taught us that, and I am grateful. n
future. We fail to enjoy the wonder of the present, this
moment in life; this is all we have. We can miss out so
easily on the majesty of life by ignoring the glory of each
HUMANISM IN THE HEALTH SCIENCES 2018 • VOL. 21 39
