Page 40 - Humanism 2018
P. 40
Adjusting to New Circumstances
By Brenda Campbell, MA, International Scholars Program Administrator, Office of Human Resources
I t was nearly Christmas and my firstborn was sitting clinician had said. It was an incredibly confusing time as
language that was contradictory to what the last
with me before leaving for kindergarten. He was
holding a small crèche when he looked up at me and
we struggled to make sense of the information and
said, “Mommy, I see two mangers, one is here and the
other is here.” He gestured at the crèche, but I could misinformation coming our way.
only see one. My heart was gripped with fear as the We were fortunate to have an incredibly gifted
gravity of his words sank in, and for the next eight years, pediatrician as our son’s primary care doctor. She helped
our life did not look the same as it did before that cold us gather all of the data from the many sources and
morning. My perfect little boy had eyes that did not begin to make sense of it. We were not alone in the maze
work properly, and the journey to discover the “why” of scans, reports and theories — we had an ally who was
and then the “what now” changed our lives dramatically. competent and compassionate. She did not just see a
medical mystery, she saw a little boy with parents who
The old adage about making lemonade when life hands loved him very much. She saw our fear and frustration,
you lemons isn’t applicable when the lemons come as a and stood with us in the uncertainty and confusion.
devastating diagnosis or a medical mystery. As my son’s
sudden onset of strabismus worsened, resulting in a 90- Choose confidants carefully
degree head turn to adapt to the double vision he While it is critical to engage qualified help, whether it be a
experienced, we trekked from one specialist to another. pediatrician, therapist, good friend or member of the
The initial diagnosis was lymphangioma, but sarcoma, clergy, it is important to remember that not all “help”
neurofibromatosis, pseudo-tumor, Duane’s type I, and an offered is helpful. Bad news travels faster than a California
arterial-venous malformation were also mentioned as wildfire, and the details often get blurred and exaggerated
possibilities. The challenge of adapting to the new in the telling and retelling. Adapting and thriving during a
normal when tragedy strikes can be overwhelming and challenging time demands that we choose our confidants
incapacitating. In the quest for an accurate diagnosis and carefully and have the courage to offer a gentle “no” to
effective treatment, I quickly gained some important advice or opinions that are not helpful.
tools in my “adapting and thriving” toolbox.
What is the most common first response when we learn
Engage qualified helpers of a recent cancer diagnosis? We mentally run through
Our odyssey took us to more specialists than I knew the risk factors for that type of cancer and feel a sense of
existed. While I was incredibly grateful for their relief when we determine that we do not have those risk
expertise, my son’s condition was an anomaly, and the factors. We are trying to put distance between the
specialists often resorted to highly complex scientific humanity and vulnerability of another and ourselves.
38 HUMANISM IN THE HEALTH SCIENCES 2018 • VOL. 21
By Brenda Campbell, MA, International Scholars Program Administrator, Office of Human Resources
I t was nearly Christmas and my firstborn was sitting clinician had said. It was an incredibly confusing time as
language that was contradictory to what the last
with me before leaving for kindergarten. He was
holding a small crèche when he looked up at me and
we struggled to make sense of the information and
said, “Mommy, I see two mangers, one is here and the
other is here.” He gestured at the crèche, but I could misinformation coming our way.
only see one. My heart was gripped with fear as the We were fortunate to have an incredibly gifted
gravity of his words sank in, and for the next eight years, pediatrician as our son’s primary care doctor. She helped
our life did not look the same as it did before that cold us gather all of the data from the many sources and
morning. My perfect little boy had eyes that did not begin to make sense of it. We were not alone in the maze
work properly, and the journey to discover the “why” of scans, reports and theories — we had an ally who was
and then the “what now” changed our lives dramatically. competent and compassionate. She did not just see a
medical mystery, she saw a little boy with parents who
The old adage about making lemonade when life hands loved him very much. She saw our fear and frustration,
you lemons isn’t applicable when the lemons come as a and stood with us in the uncertainty and confusion.
devastating diagnosis or a medical mystery. As my son’s
sudden onset of strabismus worsened, resulting in a 90- Choose confidants carefully
degree head turn to adapt to the double vision he While it is critical to engage qualified help, whether it be a
experienced, we trekked from one specialist to another. pediatrician, therapist, good friend or member of the
The initial diagnosis was lymphangioma, but sarcoma, clergy, it is important to remember that not all “help”
neurofibromatosis, pseudo-tumor, Duane’s type I, and an offered is helpful. Bad news travels faster than a California
arterial-venous malformation were also mentioned as wildfire, and the details often get blurred and exaggerated
possibilities. The challenge of adapting to the new in the telling and retelling. Adapting and thriving during a
normal when tragedy strikes can be overwhelming and challenging time demands that we choose our confidants
incapacitating. In the quest for an accurate diagnosis and carefully and have the courage to offer a gentle “no” to
effective treatment, I quickly gained some important advice or opinions that are not helpful.
tools in my “adapting and thriving” toolbox.
What is the most common first response when we learn
Engage qualified helpers of a recent cancer diagnosis? We mentally run through
Our odyssey took us to more specialists than I knew the risk factors for that type of cancer and feel a sense of
existed. While I was incredibly grateful for their relief when we determine that we do not have those risk
expertise, my son’s condition was an anomaly, and the factors. We are trying to put distance between the
specialists often resorted to highly complex scientific humanity and vulnerability of another and ourselves.
38 HUMANISM IN THE HEALTH SCIENCES 2018 • VOL. 21
